Rock star
by timeywhimeyriotact
Summary: AU/AH Edward is a rockstar, Bella is getting over a bad break up. They meet on a train... M for the usual reasons. Wrote this a while back...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Saddly, someone else owns these characters, I'm just playing...**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

I sat in the lounge at Penn Station. Trying to concentrate enough to read the news on my ipad. Not succeeding. Too much noise. I finally put it away and looked around. The lounge was filled with businesslike types. Some of them chattering away in their cell phones. Others oggling the waitresses. All of them in the uniform pinstripe suit of corporate america

Suddenly I felt out of place in my skinny jeans, gray tye die loose top and black high heels. Some of them were beggining to notice me and I cringed, mentally berating myself to having agreed to Jasper's offer of a first class ticket. Still an hour to go till I'be be sitting on the train home. I shoved the ipad into my purse. A gift from Alice. Luis Vitton. I might as well sell it once I got to Seattle. I was sure I was gona need the funds.

I went over my mental list of things to do once I got home. I was dreading having to go back to James's apartment to get my things, finally move out.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

Jake was chattering away about some new record deal... I couldn't wait to get on that train and be free of the guy... sure, he was a competent and successful agent... but the dude was an endless bore. I looked around at the suited bozos oggling the waitresses and rolled my eyes. Sex crazed middle aged men. A group of them were pointing and smirking at someone sitting on one of the couches. By their faces I could tell they were making lewd comments. I looked at where they were pointing. All the air went out of my lungs. My cock twitched. She was the most exquisite thing I'd ever seen. Small waisted, brown long wavy hair that fell sexily on her shoulders. Wide brown eyes, scared eyes, deer eyes. She was wearing a top that fell assimerically on her chest, revealing her right shoulder and a hint of full breast. Tight jeans hugged her tighs.

I was lost. Jake asked somehing. I couldn't tell what. All I knew was I had to meet her. Now

"For fuck's sake Eddie! Are you listening to me?" Jake called me back to attention. I shook my head and let him suck me back into the fascinating world of record contracts. "I don't even understand why you didn't fly out. Really almost 3 days in train travel, when you could be flying to Seattle

"That's just the point Jake! 3 days of being by myself, without the craziness of being a pop idol... I can't wait!" I wasn't going to let this bozo ruin this trip for me. I flashed him my tablet. "Plenty of time to work on some songs, dude!" Just then a female voice announced the 51st to Chicago, and thankfully, the brownhaired girl stood up too. "That's my ride. See you in LA in a month" I was spending Christmas home with my folks, and that was what was killing Jake.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Who owns these characters? Not Me!**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

As soon as I stood up my eyes met his across the lounge. He stood up and shouldered a black leather backpack. He caught me staring and he smirked, a mischevious half smile played in his lips. He was gorgeus. Short auburn hair, a slight three day stubble. A white shirt under a gray fitted suit. I blushed. Edward Cullen. The man who had plagued James's jealous bouts was standing in all his glory. I forced myself to look away, gather my trolley and move towards the nearest exit. Edward Cullen. His music had gotten me through these last months. I saw him move behind me in the corner of my eye. I think my whole body blushed. I tried to hurry to the platform but couldn't help but feel him always behind me. I stood on the platform for a few seconds, before boarding first class and making my way to seat 7A. It was an aisle seat. Clumsy clowns like myself shouldn't be allowed near the window seat. I was just about to sit down when I heard a soft cough behind me. I turned to find his half smile, green eyes boring into my skin. I blushed and bit my lip.

"I'm next to you. Would you rather have the window? I don't mind." His voice was vey low, almost a whisper and he leaned into me. I opened my mouth but no words came out. His index finger touched my wrist, so softly that maybe I was imagining it. It was a moment but enough to feel the electricity flowing from him into me. I looked around us breaking the contact. Passengers were beggining to fill the car. I stepped back towards the window seat and sat in defeat. He was still smiling as he sat down on my seat. He turned to look at me and presented his pale manicured hand. "I'm Edward."

"Bella" I managed to whisper. Feeling the current sweep over me. He didn't release my hand. Instead he softened his grip, turning the greeting into an intimate caress. I was lost.

"Bel-la!" he whispered finally releasing me. The train began it's slow march out of the station and soon we where speeding away towards Chicago. A harsh thunderstorm was beating down on the window. I hugged the arm rest. Hell of weather. And all I could think of was jumping out that window

"Mr. Cullen!" I turned to face the blondest train attendant I'd ever seen. She had sex written all over her sly smile at him. "You don't have to sit here. I've got a spacier seat right up front with no one to bother you!" she smirked at me. I wanted to punch her.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

What the fuck? This bimbo waitress had all the nerve in the world. Immediatelly I flashed my famous scoul and she took a step back. Her smile faltered a fraction. Her heavy make up was making me noxious. I looked at her name tag.

"You must have me confused with someone else, Jessica." I said flatly. "I'm going to sit here with my friend Bella and cross my fingers that we can get another attendant in this car." I looked pointedly at the conductor who was beside her by now.

"I'm sorry. I thought..." Se was white as stone when I looked back at Bella. I caught her startled eyes staring at my mouth. I smiled. "Now, Bella, if you're too scared of the thunderstorm you can inch closer." I offered her my arm on the armrest half expecting her to punch me so I was completely startled when she said my name.

"Mr. Cullen." Now I wanted to spank her. Mr. Cullen? My cock twitched as I immagined placing her tight ass over my knee and spanking her with my hands. I grabbed her wrist almost instantly and pulled her closer to me. Her chocolaty scent filled my lungs again. It had been painful to stand behind her in the queue to get in. I'd wanted to pull her back and run my nose through her whole body. Now, sitting next to her, I was getting drunk on that sweet scent. "I thought I'd said my name is Edward." I hissed. She was scared. That look of terror in her brown eyes made me release her. I didn't want to scare her. I wanted to consume her. My whole body tingled from the need to touch her, to make her mine. I hadn't felt like this since... I looked at her name tattooed on my fingers... Anne. It seemed like someone else's life now. Bella, coughed. I looked at her again. "Edward, you could be sitting anywhere. The car's not that full." She was saying one thing but her eyes were pleading me to come closer.

"Let's just enjoy the ride, Bella. We've got 28 hours ahead of us." 28 hours to get to Chicago. 28 hours to get to know this woman that had just turned my world upside down just by existing.

"That's what I mean, Edward... You shouldn't have agravated the attendant. Now she'll just spit on our food." And with that both of us burst out laughing much to the dislike of our fellow passengers. Her phone rang. My latest single was her ring tone. I stared at her startled. We both blushed. And she bit her lip. I was so far gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: thanks for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

"Hey Jazz!" I finally found my phone.

"Hey yourself! Are you on the train?" Jasper's sing song voice greeted me.

"Yes, I'm on the train. Or rather in the train because on it would just be wrong." I heard him chuckle. Jasper's laughter always made me feel better. Edward was looking at me with a wierd expression. He got up and moved towards the end of the car.

"Call me when you get to Chicago."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry."

"I always worry about my baby sister. Gotta go Bella, Call me."

I put my phone away and waited for Edward to come back. He didn't. After an hour went by I gave up waiting and leaned back. Maybe he'd found another seat. My eyelids felt heavy. I fell asleep.

I dreamt of James again. We were laying in bed watching MTV. Edward's band came on. And all of a sudden James was punching me, pinching me, kicking... I wanted to get up but couldn't, his foot on my throat... This dream was always the same.

Someone called my name. My eyes flew open. Edward's face was above me. Above me? Then I realised my head was in his lap. I sat up instantly. The move made my head spin so he had to pull me closer or I'd bang my head

"Are you ok?" He searched my face for a true answer.

"You were gone!" My voice was more bitter than I'd intended. He smiled.

"I'm here now. You were screaming your boyfriend's name in your sleep." He frowned and released me so I could sit back. I could still see James's angry face. I wondered if he'd hunt me forever.

"What time is it?" My stomach was growling. There was still a question hanging between us but I didn't want to answer just yet.

"Almost seven, they should be serving dinner anytime soon." He cocked his eyebrow at me. "Would you rather have dinner in the Dinning Car?" Mentally I started doing the math. How much would dinner cost in First Class versus a Sandwich in the Dinning Car. Jasper had paid for the ticket. Food costs were not included. I had twenty bucks in my purse... and 4 days travel ahead of me. Just when I was about to say thanks but no thanks, Jessica, the bitch attendant, came over with the First Class menus.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

When I came back from the bathroom the fat sleaze ball from 8A was standing looking at something in my seat. Coming closer, I could see his fat hand on his crotch. That was all I needed, a pervert stalker. I stopped right next to him and looked down. Bella was asleep and she was glorious. There were no words to describe her beauty. The guy looked at me and grinned. "Stop ogling my girl!" I hissed at him. He flustered and sat back down. I cursed myself for leaving her unattended for so long but I'd gone to the bar for a drink and to call Jake. I sat very carefully so not to wake Bella. But just as I sat down she leaned on me and lay her head on my lap. I could feel tingling all over and cursed myself for acting like such a teenager. She slept for four hours and I was content with just looking at her. But her sleep was restless. A nightmare. Towards the end she began begging for someone to stop. She whispered his name a few times. I was horrified, soon I began whispering her name for her to wake up. I didn't know who this James character was but I was going to hunt him down and beat the crap out of him. She woke up startled and confused. I found it cute she was slightly put out by me leaving. Then I asked her about dinner and immediately began cursing myself. It was obvious she was calculating the cost. She had a first class ticket and an expensive bag but it was obvious she was in some kind of trouble. Then the attendant came with the menu. I'd already apologized and bribed her on my way back from the bar. Jake had cautioned me against bad publicity.

"Chicken or Fish?" I asked Bella but it was so obvious she wanted to refuse that I flashed Jessica my nicest smile and ordered. "We'll both have the mushroom soup and the chicken."

"And for dessert?" the girl smiled.

"My bet's on the chocolate, what do you think, honey?" Bella opened her mouth but nothing came out. "Yeah, just feed us chocolate... and a bottle of red wine." Jessica winked at Bella and went on to ask the bastard in 8A for his dinner options.

"Edward...I can't..." I ran my finger though her chin. It was so soft. The softest skin I'd ever touched.

"My treat, Bella. Consider it an apology for leaving you... but really I was shocked from your ringtone. What foul music you listen to, Bella." I grinned... and she finally smiled.

"Well, I actually believe that particular video was God's gift to women." She bit her lip and looked at me square in the face. Fuck she was hot when she was sure of herself.

"I don't know what you mean." I played the coy card.

"I'm talking about the Elvis impersonator." she laughed and then so did I.

"So why are you going to Chicago?" I asked. She wasn't she told me. She was going to Seattle. "Really? So am I. Going to spend the holidays with my family."

She was easy to talk to. She told me about herself over dinner. How her father had raised her and her brothers alone after her mother had died in a car accident. Her father was the chief of police in a small town near Seattle. Chief Charlie Swan. Her brothers had gone to college. Then Emmett, the oldest had been drafted. He was still in Afghanistan. Her younger brother was a broker in Wall Street and had recently married her best friend, Alice. She asked very few questions about me, I could tell she was being polite. I didn't mind. There would be enough time for us to get to know each other better since we'd determined we were on the same train to Seattle, despite having reservations on different cars... but I was working on that.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Warning: people behaving OOC! I do not own these characters.**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

Dinner flew by. Edward seemed genuinely interested in my background and I was grateful he seemed to steer the conversation to comfortable topics. I wanted to ask him about his own life, especially since I knew he had lost his girlfriend in a boating accident six months ago, but I didn't want to intrude on his private life, after all he was a public figure.

After dinner, I excused myself to go to the ladies room. I was feeling tipsy and restrained in my high heels so I wanted to get my sneakers from my trolley in the back of the car. I also pulled my toilet bag so I could brush my teeth and wash my face. When I came out of the bathroom I was aware of someone behind me but didn't look. What happened next was so fast. A hand grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me against the door, I fell. A man pressed himself against me but I couldn't see his face. He smelled of cigarettes and scotch and sweat. I tried to say something but his grip on my neck was too tight. Then I felt him being pulled away from me and as I turned around Edward covered my body with his. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I told you not to mess with my girl!" He was yelling and soon the conductor and a security officer were restraining the man, I couldn't see his face. "Can't you arrest this guy?" Edward demanded. "Having fun, asstard!?"

"Edward!" I whispered placing my hand on his shoulder. He turned and immediately hugged me, he was seeping anger from every pore.

"God, Bella! Are you ok?" He shook me. I just nodded.

"Mr. Cullen, we'll have to take both your statements in order to evict this person from the train on our next stop." The security guard said. We just nodded and got back to our seats. Thankfully people were pretending to mind their own business. The attendant brought us blankets and hot tea but I couldn't wait for them all to leave us alone, and after taking our statements they did, taking the guy to the conductor's compartment. Edward and I sat in silence watching the scenery go by the window, and it wasn't until the next stop, and seeing that man being escorted out of the train that we finally sat back in our seats, he was still holding my hand under the blanket and he was softly brushing my thigh with his fingers. I concentrated on the feeling of his long fingers stroking my thigh. I'd never felt anything like it. He looked at me but said nothing and neither did I. I just leaned into his shoulder and finally fell asleep.

When I woke up it was morning. We were sleeping at an unconfortable angle. I had both my arms around his neck and his arms were around my waist. He looked adorable sleeping, his mouth slightly open. I studied his face intently. he was better looking in person than on TV. He had the kind of slender muscular body that came from working hard rather than the gym, I inched closer to his face to take in his musky morning smell. God, I could live off that scent. I felt his body react to mine under me. He smiled before opening his eyes. "Good morning, beautiful!" he whispered and kissed my forehead before finally releasing my waist so I could sit up. He stretched and looked around. There were less seats occupied.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I whispered. He nodded once getting up and offering me his hand. I just stared at it and got up myself. I tried to push past him but he stood his ground, still offering me his hand.

"I'm not letting you go on your own. I'm not going to let you get hurt, I might lose you." he said softly.

"And how exactly are you going to lose me on a moving train?" I laughed. Was he really this insecure or was this an act. His face was too grave, so I just grabbed his hand and he escorted me to the bathroom. He followed me in and locked the door. Was he really expecting me to let him in such a private moment? I felt myself get angry, I wanted to wipe his smirk off his face.

"Please let me freshen up and wait outside!" I opened the door and he stepped outside. I almost shut the door but then remembered something. "Hey! Can you just do me a favor?" He cocked his eyebrow. God, he was gorgeous and he knew it. "Can you do me a favor, just for a huge groupie?" he gave me his half smile. I was totally acting like a fan girl. He knew it. I knew it. My face was beyond red. "Can you just open your shirt for me...please." I whispered. He grinned and immediately unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his famously tattooed chiseled chest and abs. I let out a long breath. My hand shot out to touch him but I caught myself before actually touching him. "Like I said, God's gift to women." I made a joke just because I didn't know what to say. I was too far gone. He grabbed by hand and placed it on his ab. He took a step closer and before I could do anything his face was half an inch from mine and he was very serious.

"This is your only warning, never tease if you're not prepared to go through with it" He brushed his nose on mine. I blinked and I was alone.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was leaning against the wall waiting for me, he smiled and offered me his hand. I took it and smiled back. It was his way of saying we're together. And I accepted it.

Heading back to our seats, the attendant was there with our breakfast trays.

"Amtrak would like to extend our apologies to you Mr. Cullen and to you Miss Swan." Her smile grew wider but her eyes were stone cold. "if there is anything we could do to make your travel easier..."

"Actually, there is something..." Edward squeezed my hand. "Both Miss Swan and I will be traveling on to Seattle from Chicago." Jessica just nodded. "You can't expect Miss Swan to travel uncomfortably for the whole journey. You have to upgrade her."

"Mr. Cullen, I'm sorry but that Train's sleeping car is fully booked." Jessica's voice hitched up, she let her fear show. She'd been on the phone to the boss man probably all night. Damage control.

"I know for a fact there's an extra bed in compartment 12." he flashed his smile. Jessica exhaled. Relieved. I on the other hand was burning from head to toe at his suggestion. I needed to hide. "Oh, and I've already called my agent about this. I'm well aware compensation is well above your pay grade." Now he was just being snotty.

"I'm quite sure that won't be necessary!" I said before finally sitting down and digging in to the pancakes.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

She was positively shining with anger, this woman. I knew why she was angry. But I wasn't going to back down. If she was incapable of taking care of herself, I'd do it for her. It had taken all my willpower not to break that sleazeball's arm. And all my self control not to fuck her in the bathroom when she asked to see my tattoos. Now I wouldn't stop. I'd called Jake after she'd fallen asleep. Bad news is always great news to a guy like Jake and he was already spinning the story before I got off the phone. "Do what you gotta do, I want her name out of the papers." I warned him. "Make sure this damned company understands they have to make it up to her, what if she was traveling by herself?"

"Well, Edward, she is travelling by herself! You just happened to be at the right time at the right place, like the hero you are!" Jake chuckled. "I can see the headlines now... Don't worry, I'm gonna bleed them dry!"

"Jake! Just make sure they pay her! I don't care about me!" Jake was a great agent. He always had an angle.

"Edward, Eddie, my man! This is gonna be great! Don't you worry! When have I ever let you down?" Was he really asking? Did he have the nerve to ask me that?

"Whatever the fuck ever, just get it done."

And now she was sitting there, eating, ignoring me, pissed off, pissing me off. My cock twitched in it's permanent hard-on. Hell, I wanted to have her. Twisted depraved mind of mine, please don't get the better of me. I really like this woman. Like? When I saw that beast on top of her, opening his fly with his free hand, her helpless welps, all my body lurched forward. And I thought.. Almost said it out loud... MINE! She's mine! I almost told him... and then all I could say was my girl. I wanted to say something else entirely.

She pushed another forkful into her mouth. I grabbed her hand and removed the fork. "Stop stuffing your face, I'm looking out for you, no biggie!" She slapped my hand away and fought me unsuccessfully for the fork. "Silly Bella! Stop it before you get hurt." I smiled and she gave up. "Is it going to be so horrible spending three days alone with me? God's gift to women?" I threw her own words back at her.

"Just shut up!" She threw her hands up. "Don't you think I didn't catch that horrible thing you were saying to the stewardess!"

"Horrible thing? Bella?" I was loosing my patience, how old was she? 5? "Bella you were attacked in this train... if I hadn't been here... Fuck!" And there went my composure. "Fuck, let me help you and just shut the fuck up!" never ever say that to a woman. She just shut down and for the next six hours she just looked out the window until we rode into Chicago. We got up to get our things and just as we were exiting the train I was swarmed by a group of teenagers asking for autographs. I signed the first two but then stopped, we'd been separated. I felt physical pain. I looked around me and couldn't find her. The teenagers were getting annoyed. And annoying. The I felt a familiar tugging of my pinkie finger, I looked behind me and there she was looking down at the floor, a step behind me. I didn't care we were up front and center stage, I grabbed her hand and pulled her close. And together we ran towards the first class lounge where we were safe behind closed doors. I pulled her to me and hugged her. "I'm sorry."

She kissed my cheek. I was never gonna wash my face again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Please bear with me, I do know where this is heading. Disclaimer: I make no pretense of owning these characters...**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

I needed to sleep. On a bed. I needed a Shower. A long one. I needed space. I needed to talk to someone. Anyone. I needed to pinch myself. Hard. As soon as we were safe in the lounge, I just sunk on one of the chairs. Immediately Edward knelt by me.

"Are you ok?" He cupped my chin and I felt again that surge of energy coming from him. All of a sudden I needed that energy. I needed it to breathe. It was like finding a piece I didn't know was missing. And I was ashamed. Ashamed my heart was jumping in my chest like a stupid fan girl, so I shook his hands off. But he only grabbed my hands instead and pulled me down so I was kneeling in front of him. And then he just pressed his lips to mine. I wanted to fight back... I needed to fight back. But his lips were warm and soft and tasted like something I'd never tasted before. I found myself parting my lips and allowing him inside. And then, my phone rang. The spell was broken and I pushed him away to fish for my purse and run out the door.

"What?!" I barked into the phone as soon as I found it.

"Bella?"

"Em?" how could it be Emmett? he wasn't allowed to make personal calls? "Emmett?"

"God Bella! I've missed you so much!" he chuckled. "You sound mad! Am I interrupting anything?"

"Yeah!... I mean NO! what the hell, Em?" I looked at the caller Id on my screen. "How can you be calling me on your mobile?"

"My tour's over sis. I just got into Seattle airport." He was silent for a minute. "I wanted to surprise you and Dad!"

"Emmett! That just made my day!" I caught myself smiling.

"So, see you in a few days... I'm waiting here for you here and then we can drive to Forks together." We said our goodbyes and I sat for a long time alone. My mind going back to that kiss. I had never felt anything like that current of energy flowing from his mouth into mine. I don't know how long I sat there. It seemed like hours. All I could think of was that kiss. The intensity of his lips against mine and then his tongue exploring my mouth. I felt a hand on my shoulder and that snapped me back to reality. I felt the energy fill me up again. I didn't need to look up to know he was there. I stood up and took a step back. Instantly his arms enveloped me in a close hug. I felt tears filling my eyes as I looked up to his face. His eyes were cold but he was giving me a half smile. I could tell he was angry. Disappointed.

"You ok?" he asked and I just nodded. He grabbed my hand and led me back to the lounge, where two men in black suits were waiting for us. "These men are Amtrak's lawyers." he said as we sat down across from them.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan. On behalf of Amtrak we would like to offer sincere apologies for the incident involving Miss Swan." The oldest of the two men spoke opening his briefcase. "Mr. Newton has been arrested and we are pressing assault charges on your behalf as well as filing a class action suit on behalf of Amtrak." He was speaking mechanically. "We are also launching an audit process to determine a new plan for passenger safety." I felt Edward squeezing my hand that he was still holding. I looked up at him. He was smiling, his eyes were softer, warmer, I remembered the kiss and felt myself blush again. "The company we represent is very interested in resolving issues with you both, outside of court so that media outburst may be contained, so we would like to compensate the both of you for the emotional trauma caused." At that he presented us with a contract. Edward immediately released me and grabbed it.

"As stipulated by Mr. Cullen's agent the negotiation of amounts due will take place later this week through Mr. Cullen's lawyers." I shrugged indifferently, I was too tired and I could feel Edward's anger flow in waves. Then, the lawyers put away their things and we shook hands. As soon as they left Edward gathered me to himself and we sat together in silence for a while.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

She was curled up in my lap. I needed to kiss her again. But I could tell she wasn't ready. When she stormed out after that first kiss, my heart broke a little. It had been six months since Anne's accident. Six months of hell. Six months of discovering all the secrets Anne had kept from me. Six months of knowing I would never trust anyone again... and then Bella happened. Bella with her long brown hair. Her scared brown eyes. Her slender body. Her witty remarks and pride in her family. Her blushing face, full lips. Her awkwardness, her insecurity. She was a typical girl next door. The kind of girl my mother would love to meet. Complete opposite of Anne. And I was infatuated with her. Silly first sight, teenager infatuation. I needed to kiss her. I needed to taste her again. My cock reacted instinctively to her warmth on my lap. I was sure she felt it pushing through my pants. I didn't want her to think I was a pervert so I tried shifting her weight. She moaned and I looked down. Her eyes were closed.

"Bella?" I whispered

She sat up straight and bushed again.

"Oops, sorry." she smiled feebly... "Somehow I was... I dunno... your lap is too confy!" she laughed. That sound made me want her so much more. I pulled her to me then and she didn't fight back. She rested her chin on the base of my neck. I felt her uneven breaths. "Edward?" I heard her whisper..."Edward?" then louder... then she tugged at my chest and I had to release her. She looked at me with a worried expression.

"What's wrong?"

"I think they're announcing a delay on our train."

"What the hell?" I finally tuned into the normal sounds of a train station. A mechanical female voice was indeed canceling our train. I looked at the time, it was half past seven. I let her stand and then stood up myself, a first class attendant sat by a computer. I left Bella by our stuff to go ask him for information.

"The trains on that line have been canceled for today and tomorrow. There has been an accident on the line... Amtrak is offering a refund for your ticket plus..."

"Just shove it!" I was furious. I knew the alternatives... and all of them were going to separate me from her. And I didn't want to... I couldn't bear it. "Can't we get a ticket for later in the week?"

"I'm sorry sir but we're booked solid. It's the holiday season!"

I got back to Bella. She was chewing on her lip. I loved her for it. Not the kind of look from someone who has just been promised a shit load of money from some lawyer. She gave me my bag. Smiled but it was a half hearted attempt.

"I guess this is goodbye." she was on the verge of tears.

"Is it?"

"I..." she looked lost.

"Listen, Bella, what kind of person do you think I am? Do you think I'm just gonna strand you here, and not make sure that you get home safely?" was I really this person? I hadn't been this person in ages... but something about this brown eyed girl made me want to be good. "We're in this together until we get to Seattle, ok?" and after that for all eternity, ok with you? I knew I was doomed. I couldn't resist pulling her to me and making her feel the intensity of my resolve. Her eyes widened but she didn't pull back, instead she leaned in and put her arms around my neck, she was truly smiling then. I knew she liked me. Women liked me, women wanted me to be their wet dream, women fantasized about me. and I knew she did too. The public image. the band's front man. But I needed her to like me for me. Edward, son of Esme, brother of Rosalie.

"I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you." she whispered.

"Bella, just let me take care of you. I love... getting to know you, and I'd love to... be your friend!" And also fuck you until you completely forget about this James person and are totally addicted to me... I grabbed her hand and motioned for my backpack and her trolley. "Now lets go get us a hotel for tonight so we can plan our next move, sound like a plan?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters and this is a work of imagination. Don't like? Don't read! and now back to our story!**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

I was sitting on my bed after having taken a long bath. I hadn't bothered with clothes. Just sitting there in a white cotton robe that read in gold letters "The Hilton Hotel". Edward's agent had booked us a two bedroom suite while we made our way there by cab. I had already called Jasper and Emmett to let them know where I was staying and why. Emmett's big brother protectiveness had kicked in and he had demanded to have a word with Edward. I told him to piss off and he calmed down.

"No need for you to wait for me in Seattle, just go on to Forks and I'll catch a bus home from the airport on friday." Edward's agent had only been able to get us on a flight to LA the next night and then a flight to Seattle on friday, which meant I would be spending thanksgiving in LA and then, traveling north... Charlie was fuming when I finally worked up the courage to call him.

A knock at my door brought me back to reality.

"Room service is here Bella, wanna come out here for dinner?" Edward's soft voice came through the door before he opened it... I was beginning to regret not having put something on after the bath. Then I looked at him and my womb melted. He was only wearing plaid pajama pants. All his glorious chiseled tattooed chest greeted me and he smiled mischievously. I quickly stood from the bed to walk past him as if I didn't care he was half-naked in my bedroom. As I walked past he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug, then he placed his nose in my still wet hair and inhaled audibly. "Damn it, Swan! You clean up good!" then he chuckled and released me.

I sat down on the floor by the fireplace, where the coffee table had been set with a lavish sushi platter and sake bottle. I cocked an eyebrow, not exactly my choice of comfort food. He just smirked and sat behind me pulling my body to lean back into his chest. He was so warm. I felt my body melt into his. Could he feel that? God, I was lost. He had shattered me to pieces and I didn't know who I was anymore. I needed to be in this embrace forever. I felt my heart racing. So embarrassing... just like a lovesick teenager. I had fantasized about this man. His music had kept me sane in the midst of James's insanity, and now I felt like a stupid groupie groping him every chance I got. But I couldn't help it, I needed his touch like a drug addict needs his heroin. When our train had been cancelled I panicked at the thought of being separated from him. When he had suggested to stay together until we got to Seattle my heart almost exploded with joy and then shrivelled at the realisation he was also establishing a timetable for the end of our time together. I was only too happy when he apologized for his agent only getting us a flight out of LA on friday.

We sat together like that in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I felt his body react to mine. Again. I liked it but I didn't know how to tell him without feeling like a total slut and he usually pushed me off him when it happened so maybe he didn't like being reminded of his sexuality this close after his fiancée's death. I started to shift away before he pushed me off but he just pulled me back. "Don't move, love" he whispered so softly that I began to think maybe I was just dreaming this. Then he moved slowly to serve me a bowl of miso soup. I sipped on it directly from the bowl. The warm soup made me feel better instantly and I realised I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. He took the empty bowl from me and placing his hands on my waist, spun me around so I was facing him, my legs straddling his hip. I felt him in my center and was glad I had at least put on some panties. My whole body blushed. He pulled me closer so I felt the full extent of his arousal. His green eyes bearing down on me. I bit my lip just to stop me from kissing him. He cupped my chin and his thumb ran through my lips.

"Let me feed you" he said softly placing a piece of sushi on my mouth with his fingers. I wanted to lick them so bad. The sushi was the most delicious I'd ever eaten, a rice, salmon and cream cheese roll with a sweetness I couldn't quite place. "Strawberry" he answered my unasked question as he fed me another piece. "delicious isn't it?" just like you, I thought to myself. We sat like that the whole time. Eating sushi and drinking sake, I was beginning to feel tipsy, bold. I'd inched closer to him and he moaned at the friction, placing his hands to pin my behind closer. His pajama pants hid nothing from me. He was hard, huge and twitching with eagerness. I felt touched to be the cause of his arousal and horrified for him to think that was all I wanted. He was smiling at me. Not his usual half assed attempt of a smile but an actual tender honest smile. I stretched my neck until I was almost kissing him. And then he did. His kiss was searching, urgent, hungry, wild. He was ravaging my mouth and when he faltered I kissed him back with the same intensity. My wandering hands twined behind his neck as if pulling him closer had been a possibility. And all of a sudden he pushed me away. I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. My eyes welled up with tears.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me." He was rubbing his hand where Anne's name was forever inked into his flesh. I looked down. Of course he still loved her. Look at me, I'm not a beautiful russian model. I'm just silly odd Bella. I nodded my head once but didn't look at him.

"I'm going to bed." I whispered not daring to look at him.. "Goodnight!" I retreated to my room and cried into my pillow.

A few minutes later he came into my room and knelt by my bed. I felt his fingers run through my hair. I felt so ashamed it just made me feel more stupid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take advantage of you" I managed to say between sobs. I felt so ugly right now. He lay down on the bed. His hands still in my hair. He cleared his voice and I turned to peek at his face in the dark. He was concerned. "You're beautiful. I'm just fucked up, Bella." he whispered. "Go to sleep. We're both tired." he pulled me into an embrace and sang into my hair. I felt safe in his arms. The fences he had built around my heart with his rejection melted away and I drifted to sleep.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

I woke up just before dawn. Bella's body was pressed against mine. She was naked apart from her bra and panties. She was even more beautiful when she slept. I realised there was something wrong in her skin. I leaned closer to peer at her back, she had faded white bite marks on her shoulder and scars all over her back as if someone had beaten her with a whip. My heart shrivelled with anger. I was gonna kill whoever had hurt her. I'd seriously banged my own fist on the wall last night as I realised I'd hurt her feelings by rejecting her. Why had I pulled away? I wanted her. I needed her. Yes, that realization came crashing through my hard shell. I needed her and I was dreading having to say goodbye on friday. Might as well say goodbye now, so I pushed her away. I'd hurt her. Didn't she know she was better off this way? When I heard her cry through the door, I just wanted to kill myself. I'd done this. Hurt the most beautiful girl I'd met. And Bella was beautiful inside as well, from the little glimpses she'd let me see. Insisting I apologise to the Amtrak attendant, being polite to the hotel doorman, giving spare change to a homeless guy outside the hotel. Damn her brown, lost, trusting eyes. I'd banged my fist on the wall hard. Then I'd gone into her room to ask her to take me back, to tell her she was beautiful, to tell her I was falling for her. But when I saw how distraught she was, words escaped me. So I did the next best thing. I sang to her. She relaxed and fell asleep. So did I.

I was still looking at her scars when she woke up.

"Good morning." I rubbed my nose on hers. She gave me a small smile. "I need to go to my bedroom and make a few calls, ok?" I needed her to be ok. She just nodded. I bent down to kiss her forehead before exiting her room and immersing myself in work calls. Jake, Rosalie, Steve, Seth. A long cold shower where I took care of my eager little friend. Pull on some jeans and a t-shirt. My only change of clean clothes.

When I came out to the living room it was almost eleven. She was sitting on the couch wearing black leggings and a flowing purple silk blouse that fell asymmetrically on her chest revealing once again one of her shoulders. I pulled her up by her hands.

"Sorry I took so long. I was just making sure Jake hadn't booked any surprise gigs or interviews now that he knows I'll be home for five days!" That was just the kind of Bozo Jake was. He'd already had a background check on Bella just to make sure she wasn't press or a stalker. It took all my self-restraint not to fire his ass when he called me with the feedback on that. But Anne had fooled both of us and he was trying to make up for it.

"Let's go get some brunch and then hit the shops!" I grinned at her and she smiled back. I let her grab her purse but then pulled her away.

"Edward... I really can't take that money... Let's just drop it with the lawyers." she said not looking at me. There was that sexy blush again. I knew she was a good person, I was just not taking any of that.

"Bella!" I groaned. "I know you need that money, if not for you, to help your dad and your brothers. Please just let me help you." I cupped her chin again but stopped myself from kissing her lips in case she believed I was toying with her. So I kissed her forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry about the delay but had a hectic weekend. Loving the reviews! Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM, I just like playing with her characters.**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

Edward Cullen was a shopaholic. I was sure of it. My feet were killing me, he'd had me run up and down department stores, trying on all kinds of stuff as if I were a life-sized Barbie doll. By the time we got to the airport at half past six, I was the proud owner of a large Luis Vuitton suitcase loaded with clothes and shoes that I knew I was never going to wear. Edward had two more suitcases full of stuff.

It was a quick flight. Edward was working on his laptop, wearing his earphones so he could listen to the music he was editing. I busied myself writing up recipes I wanted to try out when I finally got home. I was immersed in my work when we landed in LAX. He had already put away his computer and looked at me with an amused expression on his face. I quickly put away my things.

"You like to cook?" he cocked his eyebrow.

"I'm training to be a chef. I've been apprenticing in a restaurant in New York for the last year." I was blushing again.

"Which one?"

"I'd rather not say." I blushed. In truth, I'd seen plenty of Edward Cullen and Anne sitting on the chef's table at Gordon Ramsay's, but I knew he didn't recognize me and I didn't want to make him remember how happy he had been when she was alive. How happy and in love they were.

"Les Halles? The London? Le Bernardin?" his list went on.

"Really, let it go... It wasn't really at that level." I lied. Looking down I noticed he was brushing Anne's name again. That made me frown and I finally looked away. By then the airplane had come to a full stop and I got up to get my stuff from the overhead. He was silent as we exited the plane and quiet as we got our bags and just before he walked out to the arrival area, in true star fashion he put on his raybans and handed me a pair of sunglasses. It was the middle of the night, sunglasses?

"They're to protect you from paparazzi..." he smirked and I just shrugged puting them on, I was just too tired. As we walked out the door, a sea of photographers drowned us. "Just keep close to me but don't... "he looked over his shoulder at me "Sorry, Bella, but you can't touch me..." That just froze my heart again, made me frown... I was glad he couldn't see my eyes through the tinted glasses, I nodded once and then proceeded to walk behind him as he pushed the cart with our stuff out the door. I was dazed with the throng of people, the lights, the questions shot at us. "Hey, Edward!" "Hey, who's that girl?" "Are you together?" "Give us a kiss for the camera!" It took me all I had not to show them my middle finger. How did he stand this? As we made our way through the throng of reporters a native american couple flanked us on either side. They stoically acknowledged Edward with a nod and proceeded to push back the photographers. Both man and woman had an eerie and aggressive energy. I guessed they must be his body guards. One of the photographers tugged my arm and I spun around and almost tripped over, if the woman hadn't grabbed my shoulders, I'd be trampled over by the reporters. "What the fuck were you thinking, fucker? Get back or I'll have your ass arrested for assault!" She barked at the paparazzo.

We rushed out the front door and they ushered us to a huge silver SUV. I got in the back with the woman, Edward got in the driver's seat and his body guard came around to sit in the far back. A blonde woman sat in the passenger seat up front. She turned around to look at me with a strange expression in her face. I could see the resemblance between her and Edward, this must be his sister.

"I'm Rosalie!" she held out her hand and I shook it.

"Bella Swan. Pleased to meet you." I said removing the sunglasses. She flashed me a bright smile then.

"Me too. I see you've met Leah and Seth." They only nodded acknowledging their names and I mumbled shyly back at them. They were both tall and muscular, wearing similar black tank tops, jeans and combat boots. There was something wild and feral about them. Both had long black hair, they were brother and sister, twins.

Edward drove fast through the empty streets of LA then converged to a coastal road. As he drove, his sister grilled me with questions about my brothers, my dad. She was chatty, I liked her. She told me about her work as Edward's stylist, about her mother, who she missed because she still lived in Port Angeles. "I can't believe we grew up so close and never met!" she squealed.

An hour later Edward parked the car inside the garage of a Malibu house. A lift took us up to the living room and I was completely taken aback. You could easily fit two apartments in that open space room. It was a spacious affair with a lounging area, media center, small library and office space and a dining table near the glass doors that opened on to a wooden deck. Leah and Seth excused themselves and left the three of us alone.

"It was really nice meeting you, Bella, but I have an early day tomorrow, so I'm gonna go home." Rosalie hugged me and then patted her brother's back. "Don't do anything to hurt my new friend, ok?" she warned her brother before leaving.

And we were alone. Edward stood by the glass door overlooking the deck. His back to me but I could clearly see he was shaking. I thought that was strange. We'd been alone before. I liked being alone, with him. At least then he could touch me without worrying about what other people might think. Out in the sea a thunderstorm was brewing. I stepped forward and grabbed his hand. The one where Anne's name was forever haunting me. He turned to face me, but kept his eyes on our entwined hands.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

I had a sudden urge to burn my hand. To place my hand over a burning flame. Maybe then I'd be free of Anne and all her games from beyond the grave. Bella's hand was small and pale and childish... her fingernails were short and devoid of any polish, clean pure hands, tainted by even touching mine. I needed to pull away, to free her from my dirty touch, to save her from all my dark desires, how I wanted to pull her closer, rip her clothes away and consume her right there and then... I was shaking with anger at myself, I was shaking with hunger for her. My iphone vibrated in my pocket. I released her hand to grab it. I stopped breathing again. What had she done to me? A text from Rosalie. "I like her. Not your usual type. Don't fuck it up, asshole." I smirked and threw the phone on the couch. I looked at Bella, she was staring back at me with hurt brown eyes. I sighed. I was lost and I couldn't fight this need anymore. I pulled her to me, hugged her close, lost my nose in her strawberry scented hair. Once again she melted into me. She wanted me. I wanted her. But Anne's memory still stung my heart. I liked this woman, I knew it. But... I had also liked Anne... and she'd killed me. I couldn't let Bella do that to me. Her phone rang. That silly song of mine again. A dance tune. She liked it apparently, had said she loved the video. The director had insisted I wear nothing but tight sweatpants... God's gift to women... I chuckled remembering how embarrassed she'd been the first time that ringtone had interrupted us. Bella finished our embrace to go answer her phone. It was her brother Emmett she explained. I nodded. I went upstairs to give her some privacy. My bed was turned down, Steve had laid out my black silk pajamas. I changed into those, looked myself over in the mirror, I looked like someone's perverted sex toy... Anne's favourite look, so I removed the pajama shirt. This was how Bella prefered me... All my tattoos showing. Now, I only had to go downstairs and explain to her, I had no guest rooms. I had converted the top floor into a huge bedroom, complete with a walk-in closet large enough to accommodate Anne's huge collection of dresses and shoes (all burnt down as soon as she was gone) and a bathroom equiped with a large jacuzzi, Vichy shower and whatever else Anne had desired when she was alive.

When I came down the stairs, Bella's eyes were filled with tears. She sat on the large white leather sofa grabbing fistfuls of hair in her hands.

"What's wrong, babe?" I sat next to her and pulled her gently on to my lap. She hugged my neck and proceeded to sob loudly into my chest... I was gonna kill whoever had hurt her like this. "Shhh... please tell me what's wrong?"

"I need... I need..." she whispered and the sobs subsided. "I'm sorry." She kissed me. Did I imagine it? No, she was kissing me, pressing her lips urgently on mine, running her tongue against my teeth. I needed this kiss as badly as she did. I kissed her back, letting my tongue explore her mouth. This was what breathing felt like and I'd forgotten. I'd long forgotten to breathe... and how I needed her to do it... I let my hand graze her full breast and she moaned into my mouth. I caressed her firm nipple and he shifted her body so that she was straddling me, rubbing against my hard cock. I wanted her. Anne's name burned my hand but I didn't care. In the back of my mind I knew I should care. I should stop. But I couldn't. Being with Bella was like taking a deep breath after a long underwater dive... I wanted to feel like this forever. I wanted to... And then she whispered. "Don't over think this... I need you here with me." Her hand searched tentatively for my cock. I stopped kissing her to stare at her as she scooted off me and knelt on the floor and before I could think what was happening she took me in her mouth. Bella used her mouth, her lips, her tongue, her teeth, her hands. My brain stopped working, all I could see were her bright eyes staring back at me... I was closer and closer to finding release, she was beautiful even then...

"Bella," I moaned in warning but she only moved faster and I came undone. Bella never stopped. And all I could feel was a wave of love like I'd felt back at the hotel in Chicago, but it didn't scare me anymore. I wanted Bella, I needed Bella, I loved Bella. And I was never going to let her go. I pulled her up to my lap and I buried my head in her brown locks.

"You didn't have to do that!" I told her. I wanted her to feel it too. The way she made me feel. But she just stood up and stepped away from me.

"I'm exhausted!" she yawned.

"Yeah...about that..." I grinned."Let's go upstairs." I pushed her gently towards the stairs and up to the first floor and she stopped in front of the huge four-poster. I thought she was about to say something but she just shrugged and climbed on to the bed removing her clothes in one fluid motion and she was naked inside the covers and fast asleep before I could ask her if she wanted to freshen up. I stood there for a good half hour watching her sleep. And then she opened her eyes and stretched her arm to me. "Come to bed, Edward..." And her voice was the sweetest, I'd ever heard. I slid under the warm covers and pulled her to me. It amazed me how well her body fit into mine. Sleeping with women in my bed had always been very uncomfortable, even with Anne I had insisted on custom made, wider than kingsize bed, and every night we'd drifted to our own private side. But Bella's warm body molded perfectly with my limbs, her strawberry smell filled my lungs again. and I had the strangest feeling I was home, for the first time. Bella's arms embraced me, her naked body against me aroused me once more. I tried to pull away before she woke but it was useless.

"Kiss me." And I did. I was lost. Her warmth called to me, my hands pinned the small of her back against me and before I could process any logical thought she raised her hips and I was inside her. I tried pacing myself. I was too big, she was too tight. It was useless, as soon as we were one there was only one speed: frantic. I needed to touch her, everywhere. She touched me everywhere. I kissed her, she kissed me back and when I couldn't hold back anymore I felt her collapse around me whispering my name. And I fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry, only BPOV for now. Thank you for the wonderful reviews. Yes, I know both of the are messed up, but aren't they always?**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own these people.**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

I woke up. It was early. The alarm on the end table read 7.30. I was alone. Edward was nowhere to be seen and I was again wondering if it had been nothing but a dream. I got up and made my way to the bathroom, someone had already put my toiletries by one of the sinks. I stepped in the shower and as soon as the water and mist surrounded me I began reliving the events of the previous night. Emmett had called me, berating me yet again for not coming home right away, Charlie was sick, in the hospital. My brother was coming to LA to pick me up and drive back to Forks. He'd be here tonight or tomorrow morning. I burst crying like a little girl as soon as he said Charlie was in the hospital. That made Emmett scream a little louder and I cried a little harder. He hung up, mad at me, and Edward had walked in on me. As soon as I saw him I knew, we didn't have much more time together so I decided to make the most of it even knowing he probably still loved Anne. There was no way he saw me as anything but a groupie and he had confirmed my suspicions by asking me not to touch him coming out of the airport.

I was rinsing my hair when I heard someone clearing his voice. I turned, startled, only to catch a glimpse of Edward completely naked on the other side of the shower glass before I covered my eyes. He chuckled and then I remembered he could see me naked as well so I covered my breasts. He came into the shower and held my arms up and placed them around his neck, as he kissed me under the shower.

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that false modesty." he murmured as he pushed me against the wall and immediately my legs shot up around his waist and he was inside me again. I had never felt such pleasure, such a feeling of being complete, of being right. And that feeling broke my heart a little bit. I had to end this, but I couldn't, I needed him, my body ached when he was not touching me. We were frantic and soon we found mutual release which made us fall in a heap on the shower floor.

"You were gone." I accused as we dried each other in his white fluffy towels. He gave me a half smile.

"I went for my morning run." he shrugged. "You seem to have abandonment issues, Bella Swan. I'm sure when this is all said and done you'll be the one leaving me." he went into his closet and left me gasping for air. I felt the tears well up again but I bit them back. I shook my head and followed him. My bags where sitting there in the middle of a huge empty space. The racks, shelves and drawers in this section had all been cleared out. It was a space bigger than my room back in New York. Anne must have been obsessed with clothes. I looked back at him.

"You can hang up your stuff, I'll have someone iron it." he kissed my shoulder.

"I'm not sure that'll be necessary." I whispered. "I'll be out of your hair in no time." I smiled brightly daring him to ask me why.

"Not if I can help it, ms. Swan." he kissed me chastely on the lips. "Come on, get dressed, gorgeous, I'm taking you to the best brunch in LA. I want you to meet someone."

When I came out of the closet I was in skinny jeans and a purple silk blouse he'd bought me.

"Better wear that leather jacket we got yesterday... We're riding my bike." he announced as he finished lacing up his doc martens. Even in faded jeans and a white t-shirt he looked hot.

We sped away towards the city. I held on tight to him. Uncoordinated girls shouldn't be allowed on bikes. I'd tried telling him as much but he'd just chuckled and asked me to hold on tight.

Walking into a nondescript american diner in an otherwise busy street crossroads, I felt suddenly like the stupidest, underdressed, ugliest girl he could have brought here. Everywhere I looked model types and entertainers pretended to eat their food. These people were rich, spoiled, and made of plastic. My heart was jumping in my chest, I tried not to ogle them so I just looked down threading behind Edward as he made his way greeting this or that person. I was so interested on the floor I bumped his back when he stopped to talk to a platinum blonde bombshell. She was planted in the small aisle, blocking our progress.

"Hey, Jane!" he smiled. Jane took it as an invitation to feel up his chest.

"Edward, back in town? I thought you were going north for the holidays." she dragged out her words grabbing his hand. It took all my self restraint not to pull it away. MINE! my inner voice was screaming at me. MINE! I shook my head. I retreated into myself for the rest of their conversation. James's grinning face mocking me, his large pale hands choking me. I shook my head and was back at the diner. I tried to look away, trying to find a friendly face amidst the Botox.

I felt Edward's hand around my waist. "This is Bella." he said to the blonde. For just a fraction of a second she frowned.

"I see. Nice to meet you, Bella." she said still clutching his hand. Edward was looking at me expectantly as if he was waiting for me to say something to her. His grip tightened around my waist and he gritted his teeth. He was uncomfortable. He needed me to take the lead. Was she important? I smiled sweetly at Jane.

"Nice to meet you too. Would you excuse us? " I placed my hand on her shoulder and pushed softly, effectively removing her from blocking us.

"Yes, there's Jake." he pointed to a table where a tall dark handsome guy in a suit waited for us. I blinked, I knew this tall dark handsome. I smiled and waved but he just looked at me cryptically.

"Jacob Black!" I laughed as I hugged him. He just stood there looking at Edward, and Edward was frowning. "God, Jacob, don't you remember me?" I asked stepping away and sitting across from him in the booth. Edward immediately took the seat next to mine, still frowning.

"You know Bella!" he hissed at his agent. "You know Bella, and still..."

Jacob just shook his long black hair and looked at me quizzically which made me giddy so I just laughed.

"Bella?!" Edward cautioned me sternly.

"Jacob Black, from LaPush?" I finally asked wiping away the joyful tears.

"Do I know you?"

"Jake! you had a background check done on her and you know her?" Rosalie's arrival sobered me right up. Rosalie just swated his head as she sat next to him.

"I didn't do a full background check just last few employers. Just to make sure she isn't press. " He was frowning at me. I frowned back and clenched my fist.

"Now, now, boys and girls, just calm down!" Rosalie winked at me and I sank back on the seat.

"Go figure! You make mud pies with someone and one day you wake up ad he doesn't even recognize you." I stirred the cup of joe the waitress had just filled for me.

"Issibella?" he whispered, a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "You're..." he looked sad. "You're so different, what happened to you?" He reached for my hand across the table.

"God, Jake, you're such a bozo!" Edward pulled me closer to him as if telling his manager I was off limits. My cheeks burned and Rosalie winked at me.

"I lost weight." I explained. "I was a chubby kid growing up."

Jake chuckled.

"And her dad wouldn't let her come by the rez once we both started sixth grade... How's Charlie?" I looked away and shrugged. "I moved in with my mom here when I was 12, so... we lost touch." Jake explained. "I'm sorry, Isabella."

"It's just Bella." I corrected softly. I felt Edward's hand on my back and His energy enveloped me. "All this drama is making me famished, let's eat!" and everyone laughed. After that, the mood was light. Jake had booked Edward on a morning show the next day to talk about our Amtrak incident, and he had a couple of business meetings to attend.

"c'mon Jake! I told you... Edward was on the brink of exploding.

"I'm having none of that! We need these deals to... fuck, Edward! I'm not talking shop in front of..." he waved his hand at me. "No offense, Bella, but..." Edward slammed his fist on the table, that brought the diner's bustle to a brief halt and then everyone began whispering.

"Now, boys! Why don't you go to the office and talk shop." Rosalie smiled, she was perfect. Her long blonde locks, deep blue eyes and pearly white teeth. Her figure was too full to be a model but she was beautiful, and she knew how to use it in her favor. When she smiled, Jacob licked his lips in a way I found disgusting. "Bella and I are going to try this new spa that sent Edward these vouchers!" she waved them at me winking. "what do you say sister?"

"I say I love you and where have you been my whole life?" I smiled back at her.

"Now you're just breaking my heart!" Edward said softly in my ear as we exited the diner. I turned to face him but he was smiling.

"Shut it, Cullen! You're just jealous because you wish you didn't have to spend your day with bozo!" I gave him a small peck on the lips and rushed to his sister's red convertible before he or Jake could respond.

"I like you, Bella!" Rosalie only broke the silence when we were both inside the mud bath area, alone. "You're good for my brother!"

I sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong?" She was very serious. " Don't you dare deny there's something wrong because I can tell, hell I can smell the defeat oozing off of you... You've been checking your mobile all morning. Did my stupid brother hurt you? so help me god..." and she ranted. I sobbed and she quieted down.

"My brother called me last night." I said quietly. "He's driving to come get me."

"Fuck! Why?"

"I haven't been home in two years. My dad is sick, he was hospitalized last night." I couldn't stop the tears. "Emmett's mad because he believes I should have stayed at home."

"Why? was your father sick when you left?" I shook my head. "Did he tell you he was sick?" I shook my head again. "Then tell your brother to shove it! Where was he?"

"In the war."

"Well, that's messed up, but still not your fault, I'm sure there's a very good reason why your dad didn't want to worry you. Don't let your brother walk all over you! Good thing he's coming here, I'd like to meet him and tell him what a wonderful sister he has... don't blush! It's true! I've never seen my doofus brother look at someone like he looks at you!"

"I seriously doubt that!" I said remembering how he rubbed his tattooed fingers after our morning shower.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: the story goes on... Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM. **

* * *

_Edward's POV_

As soon as I got home I sent Leah out to get Bella from Rosalie's house. I was in a foul mood. Pictures of me and Bella kept cropping up on the internet and Jake kept trying to spin her as a one night stand, a groupie. The meetings dragged on and on and on. When Anne died my career had taken a deep sea dive, now suddenly I was a hot commodity once again. And all I could think of was getting away to be with Bella. And Jake hated me for it. Even worse I was convinced he hated Bella and kept insisting I should send her packing to Seattle. He'd gone so far as to arrange a fake date with Jane Volturi, a b-list actress. I'd had fought him on the issue but Jane was the niece of Aro Volturi, a major honcho in my label, so now I had a date set for tomorrow.

I was musing on how to get out of the date when Leah came back with no Bella.

"I'm sorry Edward but Rosalie and Bella are dining out." Leah looked at the floor. "Rosalie said you were welcome to join them later for drinks at The Rooftop."

"Thank you, Leah. I think I'll take a nap first."

"Would you like me to fix you up something to eat?" She offered even though that wasn't in her job description.

"No, thanks! I'll just get a burger on my way to the bar." I went upstairs and immersed myself in the bath. Something was definitely wrong. I closed my eyes. All I could think of was Bella, her brown eyes pleading me to kiss her, to touch her. I opened my eyes, realising what was wrong. Her toilet bag was not on the counter. I got up and grabbing a towel, went into the closet. Her bags were nowhere to be seen. All her clothes were gone. I felt anger rising in the back of my neck. I dialed Rosalie's number. No answer. I dialed again. No answer. I dialed Seth.

"What the hell is going on?" I burst when he picked up.

"Excuse me?"

"Where's Bella's stuff?"

"Miss Swan is staying at The Standard tonight, Edward. I thought you knew. Rosalie..."

"Fuck Rose! I'll be ready in ten." I got dressed in black jeans and a tight dark blue shirt, an outfit I knew always made the ladies swoon. I turned on the gps app on my iphone that let me know where Rose was and headed for the garage, Seth was already there, we got on my SUV and drove away. I was too angry to talk and he knew it. He opened his mouth once or twice but didn't dare say anything. Finally when we got out the car at the restaurant he grabbed my wrist.

"Edward! You need to calm down!" he said sternly. I just turned to see him frown at me. "You are moving too fast and Bella is not just some girl you can throw away when you're done fucking her. She's too nice, too emotional, and you're just gonna break her heart." Startled I just stared at him.

"What did you say?"

"Edward, I spent the whole day with Bella and Rosalie, she's a nice girl." There was true concern for her well being. I already knew Bella was special, from the little glimpses she'd shown me, but the fact that someone who worked for me was jeopardizing his job to defend her spoke volumes to me. Jake was wrong, she was no groupie. I smiled at Seth.

"I know she's a nice girl."

"And Rosalie wants to be her friend, don't take that away from your sister." Seth finally released my hand. "I know you care for her... but please don't break her heart. I don't think she can take it."

I took a moment to look at him, really look. He was about my age. Buffed up from the gym. More experienced because of his two tours in the middle east. His family had worked for mine for as long as I could remember so I'd obviously hired him as a bodyguard. Growing up we had attended the same schools, had been best friends until Junior High and then I got more interested in music, he in sports, and we'd grown apart. But I recognized his tone. He was speaking to me as that boy who had been my friend, not my employee who I kept at bay. He was nervous, fearing the loss of his job, that much I could tell, but he was truly concerned, for Bella?

I shook my head. Smiled at him, clasped his shoulder. "Don't worry, Seth, I'm fine. Thank you for being Bella's friend." and I meant it, and he knew. He took a step back and resumed his stern bodyguard façade.

Ignoring the hostess, I strode to the private room where I knew Rose was having dinner. She always booked my table. I just slid the door open.

"For fuck's sake, Edward! You gave me a heart attack!" Rosalie yelled at me from her tatami. I looked around the room, Jake was sitting opposite Rose with an annoyed expression on his face. Bella was nowhere to be seen.

"Find her!" I whispered to Seth and he stalked out.

"So what have you been up to, girls?" I sat down next to rose on the only available spot. I frowned at Jake as I said girls. "Where's Bella?"

"Bella had to go to the girls room." Rosalie hissed, her eyes narrowed at Jake. "Jake just got here and enlightened us about your date tomorrow." She turned to face me, she was disappointed. "I bet he's just here on the kindness of his black heart!" she spat. Rosalie's temper was a legend. "What the hell happened?"

"What are you doing here Jake?" I asked him calmly.

"I only came to make sure Miss Swan doesn't get the wrong idea." He gave me a cool smile. Just then Bella entered the room escorted by Seth who gave Jake and me a murderous look. He was angry with me. I'd just promised not to hurt Bella and couldn't keep my promise. Bella had been crying, her face was red and she was still sobbing when she came in. She was still beautiful, her brown hair fell in loose locks around her face and she was wearing the sleek asymmetric dress we'd bought together. I needed to touch her. I smiled at her but she didn't look up from the floor.

"I told you specifically that I'd tell Bella." I felt my anger rise again.

"I just think it more appropriate if she knew sooner rather than later, don't you agree?" Jake said nonchalantly.

"There at least we agree!" Rosalie yelled. She held out her hand to Bella. "We're going to The Rooftop. I suggest you deal with this, little brother!" I sent a text to Leah to let her know she should meet the girls at the bar and then motioned for Seth to sit down. The hostess came in looking flustered.

"I 'll have some strawberry maki and your strongest sake." I cocked and eyebrow at Seth and he nodded. "Make that two!"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen." she sighed in relief and exited the room. By now Jake was shifting his weight from side to side. Uncomfortable, bozo?

"So, from the top, Jake, remind me why I'm not firing you right now?"

And I was in hell again. He repeated every fucking argument he had made today: the record deal, Mr. Aro's niece, beautiful girl of my own rank, Anne's betrayal, Bella's own problems, in short, money. Jake was a Bozo but I was to blame, I had agreed to the stupid date. An hour later we walked out of the restaurant talking amiably, pretending to be friends. As soon as I got to my car in the darkened parking lot I turned on my heel and punched his face.

"Pull that shit again Jake, and I'll fucking kill you!" I didn't even wait for his response.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I know my Bella and Rockward are entangled in the usual misunderstandings, but please keep in mind, they've just met and they both have heavy baggage.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.**

* * *

_Bella's POV_

I was drunk. Rosalie had been feeding me a straight flow of margaritas since we arrived at the bar. Emmett's last text informed me he would be arriving in an hour. Rosalie had called him earlier using my phone and had convinced him to stay for at least a day "to rest". I knew she'd just gotten too interested in my brother as soon as I told her he was in the army.

I liked Rose. I'd never had a girl friend besides Alice. I wasn't good with girls. Girls intimidated the hell out of me. And girls who looked like Rosalie never mixed with girls like me. The afternoon we'd spent together was the most relaxed I'd been in ages. The spa had melted away all my defenses and I found myself telling her everything about James, about dad, about her own brother. She in turn confided in me her own worries for Edward, how he had changed after Anne's death. There was bitterness when she spoke of Anne but I was not brave enough to ask. When I'd told her Emmett was picking me up, and how upset he'd been to know I was staying with Edward, she offered to book me a room in a hotel downtown. We'd spent the rest of the afternoon moving my stuff and talking. I'd also called Jasper to update him, Emmett had also called him, but his company was sending him to Thailand on a business trip, and he and Alice would be away until New Year.

I was never one to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but here I was drinking margaritas to stop me from remembering all the horrible stuff Jacob Black had said to me. He had even called me a bitch in heat and offered money for me to go away. I'd stormed out of the room to the ladies room and left Rosalie screaming at him. When Edward arrived I was just embarrassed he saw me upset with something so stupid as a date. Of course he could go on a date. I was nothing but a silly fan with a crush. And he didn't even seem upset with Jacob, instead he sat down to have dinner with his friend. I was crushed.

Now, at the bar we had taken possession of one of the red pods on the terrace. We sat relaxed leaning against the red plastic that gave us privacy from the patrons' ogling eyes. Rosalie was doing her best to cheer me up, telling me about her childhood in Port Angeles, asking about mine in Forks.

I was downing my fourth margarita when I felt someone caress my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around, I felt his energy. Seth moved in my line of sight and nodded at his sister who left. Edward sat behind me and pulled me so I leaned against his chest. I felt my body react to him and I blushed. Rosalie smiled at me, but frowned at her brother. She pulled me up and hugged me.

"Now, little brother, it's past your bedtime and you should go home to get some sleep before tomorrow's tv appearance."

"Bella's coming home with me." he informed us calmly.

"No." I managed to turn to look at him. I was still biting back tears but I had some liquid courage in me. He was startled at my response. He sipped his corona contemplating what to say next. He was always careful, never carefree around me. He was studying the situation. "No, thank you Edward, for everything, for saving me, for looking out for me... but I think it'll be better if I stay." he placed his beer on the table and stood up, pulling me up with him. Some female singer was singing a slower version of his dance tune. He pulled me to the dance floor and we danced slowly, as if they were playing a ballad. He pulled me to a dark corner and kissed the base of my neck.

"I know you feel it too." He whispered in my ear. I blushed and was thankful he couldn't see it. "So how can it be better to be apart?"

"I need... I need to think, I'm sorry. I'm upset." I bit my lip, he cupped my chin and made me look in his eyes.

"You can have some time. But come back to me." he kissed me then, I closed my eyes, when I opened them again he was gone and Rosalie was smiling at me.

"Let's go Swan, your brother is at the front desk asking for you." She held out her hand and I took it, grateful for her being there.

A few minutes later my big brother who I hadn't seen in two years was smothering me with a bear hug.

"Bella, I've missed you so much!" He kissed my hair. He wasn't crying. Emmett was all macho. Buffed up, wearing his dog tags under his white shirt, standing taller than anyone else. In his arms I felt safe, at home.

"Emmett, this is my friend, Rosalie." I introduced them. Neither spoke. Emmett held out his hand and Rosalie took it and they stood there in the lobby, for a full minute before Rosalie smiled and Emmett turned the awkward handshake into a holding hands grip and finally managed to mumble that it was nice to meet her. I had the warm feeling of watching a romance develop right before my eyes. We made our way up to our room and I fell asleep to the sound of Emmett and Rosalie talking.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. This chapter is short. Sorry, Rockward still needs to grow up.**

* * *

_Edward's POV_

I woke up at six with a splitting headache. I hadn't bothered to go upstairs, just slept on the couch. I'd seen the tall muscular guy asking about Bella in the hotel's lobby. I felt angry and jealous and I'd stalked out of there leaving Seth behind.

Six a.m. No one should have to wake that early. I took a quick shower, dressed in a dark suit and headed out. Morning shows. Jake loved those. Marketing for middle aged women, I called them. It was grueling to sit there and act nonchalantly about rescuing Bella on the train and excited at going on a date with Jane Volturi. And then they asked the forbidden question, the question I had specifically asked Jake to tell them not to be made. All hell was going to break loose... I crossed my fingers and hoped no one was watching, yeah... right!

"So, Edward... after six months, are you ready to make a commitment to Jane Volturi?" I almost choked, my throat went dry, I almost vomited but bit my lip and smirked at the blonde hyper tanned presenter. I wanted to strangle her. Why was it, they couldn't leave my private life alone. Why couldn't they just focus on the music. This was the part of fame that I loathed. There was always someone watching my every move: paps, reporters, fans... all out to get a piece of me.

"It's just a date." I gave her my best roguish look. "A first date at that, Samantha" I paused but not long enough for her to interrupt me. "I'm not sure anyone could get as close to me as Anne did. You're right, maybe it's too soon. No woman is ever going to fill that void." I lied. It wasn't too soon, I'd already sold my heart to someone, just not Jane Volturi. I really hoped Bella wasn't watching. But as soon as I said it, my phone began vibrating incessantly in my pocket, and I knew I'd fucked up.

An hour later I sat alone in my SUV reading text death threats from my sister. There was a knock on my door and before I could react Seth was pulling me outside and screaming at me for hurting Bella. I smirked as his fist connected with my jaw. I knew better than to fight back. The whole situation seemed so ridiculous to me I just laughed. Who would take that interview seriously. My laughter only made Seth angrier and he kicked me in the gut, repeatedly. I looked around to make sure no paps were snapping this sorry ass picture. I couldn't stop laughing.

"I QUIT!" he yelled.

"You're fired!"

"Fuck you, Edward Cullen! I'm sick of dealing with your shit! When you finally grow up and realise that Jacob Black is bleeding you for his own gain, it's going to be too late!" he spat and walked away.

I managed to haul myself back into the driver's seat. And then I blacked out.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait... Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to someone else.**

* * *

_BPOV_

I couldn't believe I was back in Forks. The drive upstate had seemed endless. An infinite stretch of road. Emmett drove the whole way, only stopping for gas or food. He was angry. Not at me but at the situation. Driving into town, that familiar feeling of defeat creeped into me. I was dreading having to go home, face my old room, and all the memories of James... before James became the enemy... The James he was in high school... the James I though I loved.

Emmett had been so angry at Edward, that he had wanted to leave. Even Rosalie couldn't convince him otherwise. He knew me too well, he knew I wanted to put miles between myself and heartbreak. He needed to be the big brother he could never be before because he was away. And I needed him to protect me now because I couldn't protect myself. My mind was stretched thin.

My mobile had buzzed endlessly ever since leaving LA. I stopped checking it after the tenth missed call from Rose. I knew she wasn't to blame for her brother's inability to assert himself but I just wanted my own time to think and make sense of everything that had happened since getting on a train with her brother.

I let my mind wander to the last hours I'd spent in LA. Edward Cullen on the morning show, telling the world that I was just a lovesick groupie that he had saved on the train... letting everyone know he still loved Anne... excited about a date with Jane. I'd met Jane the day before. Maybe they were supposed to stay together and I was the odd man out.

When we got home to small town Forks, everyone was very welcoming but Emmett and I just immersed ourselves into dad's cancer. I spent most of the money Edward's lawyers sent from the train company taking care of Charlie's medical expenses since his insurance wouldn't cover the costs. We were so involved in it all, it was only three weeks later that we both realised it was almost Christmas and we still hadn't been at the house long enough to breathe.

The doctors had said we could bring Charlie home for Christmas, but they also had warned us, this might be his last. Emmett was broken. I couldn't fix him. Jasper wasn't coming home in time for Christmas. Avoidance had always been his way of dealing with negativity. I was determined to make it a happy holiday for Charlie. So I'd been spending more time at home, cleaning up and decorating, getting food prepped. Emmett stayed at the hospital.

Today was the day Charlie was being released from the hospital. A knock at the door woke me from my thoughts. I opened the door. Rosalie Cullen stood there smiling brightly, impeccably dressed and holding a wicker basket which he shoved into me as she stepped inside.

"What are you...?" Rosalie was so overdressed I immediately felt self-conscious in my pajama bottoms and Black Sabbath sweatshirt. She pulled me into a hug. At first I was so startled that I froze in place, but then, realising how much I missed a friend, I hugged her back.

"Bella, I missed you so much!"

"I... I missed you too, Rose, but... what are you doing here?" I stalked back to the kitchen and she followed me. For the first time in my life I was painfully aware of how small and run down my childhood home was. I motioned for her to sit at the small table, while I resumed prepping for dad's dinner. "Would you care for something to drink?"

"Bella, can't you just sit down for a minute? talk to me. Please." she was genuinely sad. I shrugged and sat down, but I still wouldn't look at her. I couldn't. I was angry, ashamed, sorry. "I know you must like my brother, but... I mean, he's broken, he's been broken for a long time. That's why he behaves the way he does. He's a good guy, deep down... well, deep deep down, but he's... you know... a rock star. I think it all got very confusing ever since he's been successful and got in with Jake and Aro. Maybe he's just scared of losing fame." I felt the tears streaming down my face. Why was she here? I didn't want to talk about Edward Cullen. Sure, I'd been hurt by her brother, I knew I needed him to breathe and he'd choked the air out of my lungs forever, but... my father was dying, he was coming home to his last Christmas and we were not sure if he'd make it to New Year's.

"Why are you here?" I insisted. "I don't want to talk about Ed..." I couldn't even say his name. "Your brother. So why are you here?" I was angry. "My father is dying, we want to be left alone. I want to be left alone. I think we deserve that. " I was sobbing.

"God, Bella! I didn't... I didn't mean to intrude." She got up and hugged me. I cried into her expensive coat. "Sorry, I didn't want to upset you. I'm here to spend Christmas with Mom at Port Angeles, but Emmett called, and..."

"Emmett called you?" I took a step back in disbelief.

"Sure, we..." She blushed and looked at the ceiling. "You know... we've been talking on the phone, and... texting. He said he was worried about you, that you'd lost all this weight, that you never wanted to be home, just at the hospital... And, my God Bella! Here you are, only skin and bones! And you say you don't want to know about my asshole brother, but here you are, still hurting when I mention him. I guess you're both broken. I shouldn't be telling you this. It's Edward's story and he should be the one telling you, but, here goes: Anne was a total bitch. Edward fell head over heels, he was young... but Anne was a total man-eater that completely played him... I know that's no excuse for doing what he's been doing... but... Please, Bella, give us a chance."

"Us?" My head was pulsing... I wanted to lie down... but I couldn't, I had dinner to prepare.

"Edward and I?" She pouted. "I'll let you finish what you were doing if you want... or I could stay and help you? I'd love to see Emmett, meet your dad. Mom and Edward will keep busy until tonight, they won't miss me?"

"Your brother is in Port Angeles?"

"Sure..." she smiled. I crossed my arms to stop my arms from shaking. I didn't want to see Edward. Why hadn't he stayed in LA? "Hey, I brought you some pistachios... Emmett said you make an amazing bark... " She opened her basket and began pulling out ingredients. Expensive. Truffles, pistachio paste, a selection of fresh herbs, italian olive oil, wine, french cheeses, swiss chocolate and the pistachios themselves. It was like a delicatessen exploded in my tiny kitchen. "So? can I keep you company until your brother comes home?"

"Just as long as you don't mention him again..." she nodded in agreement and we went to work.

By the time Emmett wheeled Charlie into the living room, we had a duck orange in the oven, cranberry and almond pilaf rice, dad's favorite sweet potato pie, caesar salad and we had gone wild with the desserts: brownies, red velvet cupcakes, pistachio white chocolate bark, peanut butter chocolate cheesecake and apple pie. The house smelled of sweet and spice. As I helped Charlie get comfortable on his spot on the couch, I sneaked a peek at Emmett and Rosalie. My brother held her hand gently and she seemed completely transformed from the force of nature she usually was o a soft spoken, polite girl... she held on to Emmett's every word... She moved in closer to him... Emmett's hand stroked her shoulder softly... the image warmed my heart. I was glad my brother had found someone... and Rosalie was strong-headed enough to tame his rough boyish ways...

I felt Dad's hand tug mine. He smiled at me. "What about you? Are you happy?" I looked away so he wouldn't see me cry. "You need to let this James stuff, go... he's gone... he won't get out of prison.. it's time you moved on with your life. Have you been back to get your stuff from Seattle?"

"Daddy, please... don't worry... besides, stuff is just stuff. I'll just get more new stuff." I smiled. "Now, I'll go set the plates." I tried to pull away but he was still holding my hand.

"Promise me... promise me you won't stay in Forks when I..."

I just nodded.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing. Edward and Bella will be together soon, I promise. This one is short. Disclaimer: I do own a copy of Twilight Saga, however the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer...**

* * *

I loved being home. Finally home. Away from all the craziness of Tinsel Town, away from Jake, from Jane. It seemed like years since I held Bella's hand in the train, but it had only been three weeks. I missed her touch, I missed my painful permanent hard on. I missed her velvety mouth, her chocolate and strawberries scent, her questioning eyes.

Everytime Jane touched me I wanted to vomit. We'd been on three very public dates. I'd been a gentleman. Me... a gentleman. Jane was infatuated... with herself mostly. Her uncle was pressing Jake for me to become her fake boyfriend. Jake... my damnation had a name. But not for Christmas. He knew I always spent Christmas in Port Angeles, with my mother and my sister. He knew better than to press the issue before Christmas. When I got home, Esme was alone in the kitchen. She'd already been to the cemetery to put fresh mistletoe on Dad's grave, and she chatted away about her volunteer work in the hospital.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I fished it out and looking at the screen I spluttered the hot chocolate I was drinking.

"Edward Cullen!" Esme sternly shook her head at the mess I'd made. I started cleaning the table immediately cursing my sister under my breath. "What's wrong with you?" Mom took the rag from my hand. "I hope it's not that horrible girl you're dating!" I couldn't even come up with a quirky come back. "I hope you're not thinking about bringing her here for the holidays."

"Would I ever?" I sighed and stormed out of the kitchen. Thankfully there was still the tree to assemble. I looked at my phone's screen again. Bella. My fucking sister had texted me the most painfully depraved picture of Bella Swan. It was a close up of Bella's smiling face as she bit down on a buttercream covered cupcake. She had a speck of cream on the tip of her nose. And... the hard on was back. My cock twitched in pain as I mentally relived Bella's velvety lips around my cock. My phone buzzed again. A text from my damned sister.

"Your move, asshole!"

When Esme came into the living room two hours later, I was still standing by the boxes, looking at my phone.

Esme peered down at it, looking at Bella's picture.

"Hey, isn't that Chief Swan's daughter?" I felt her arm around my shoulder, guiding me to sit down at the couch. So I did.

"You know Bella?" I finally looked up from my phone. Esme was grinning at me like the cat who ate the canary. I didn't like it.

"So... it's Bella?" she chuckled. My mother had me blushing and pouting like a five year old in less than a second.

"I've seen her around the hospital, when she comes to visit her Dad. She seems like a nice girl." Mother winked but took the phone away from my hand. "Now, snap out of it and help me with this tree."

Esme and I were sitting in the couch watching "The sound of music" when Rosalie came home. She was carrying a wicker basket filled with stuff, that she set on the coffee table. I sat up and stared as she opened it with a smirk on her face. She pulled out box after box of desserts: cupcakes, brownies, bark, slices of apple pie.

"This looks delicious!" mom sighed. "I'll go make some tea..." and she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Cupcake?" Rosalie grinned as she offered me a red velvet one. I frowned at her, picked it up and stuffed it in my mouth. It was delicious and I gulped it down in no time. Rosalie laughed. She swathed the back of my head like she used to when I was five. Mom came back with mugs of tea, and plates for the food. She began serving us, as Rosalie sat too close to me.

"Bella made them." she informed me with a small trace of venom in her voice. "Bella, you remember? little brunette sex vixen, that has a mind of her own, loves you for some strange reason and cooks like a goddess. Remember Bella?" I stood up just to get away from Rose's mean side. "You know, the girl whose heart you broke, cause you're just too stubborn to believe not all women are like Jane... or Anne!"

"Rosalie!" Mom chided her. "Leave your brother alone!"

"I won't! I won't leave him alone! He's been 'left alone' he's entire life, someone needs to knock some sense into his stubborn little head!"

"Fuck you!" I spluttered.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you will apologize to your sister, right this moment!" I stared at my mother in disbelief.

"She started it!"

"She started it, she started it," Rosalie sang, laughing. "What are you, five?"

"You two, stop, right this minute! Stop!" Mom raised her voice. Mom never raised her voice. Rosalie and I stared blankly at her. I heard my sister mumble an apology so I did too.

We sat down to eat Bella's food. I sequestered the whole box of cupcakes. Esme and Rosalie grinned at me as if they knew something I didn't. I didn't care! As I bit down on each cupcake, all I could think of was Bella. How good it had felt to hold her in my arms, to watch her sleep, to hear her speak. I hadn't been able to compose ever since she left me.

She left me. She was the one to leave. That had been my little mantra for the last three weeks. As I gulped down the last cupcake, I realised Rosalie and mom were still staring at me with an amused expression.

"What?" I barked.

"If you like this girl, why don't you just go after her?" Esme frowned.

"It's complicated." I stared down at my knuckles, they weren't burning anymore, but mom caught my stare.

"Anne is dead! Let that go! She was a bitch!" I was shocked to hear mum curse. "She was a perverted being, don't let that fool you into thinking everyone is like her." Then she sighed. "Rosalie is right, I've let you be for too long. If you like this girl, really like her... don't let her go."

I was silent for a minute, Esme waited for a reply expectantly, Rose frowned because I didn't say anything.

"I don't!" They both frowned. "I don't like her. I love her." I finally admitted. Both my mom and my sister were high fiving each other. My mother was actually making a small victory dance.

"Now, tomorrow, we're going to visit Chief Swan!" Esme announced matter-of-factly. "And you two better be on your best behavior!" With that she retired to bed. My heart was already racing in anticipation of seeing Bella. Rosalie swathed my head again.

"Get out of your head! It's going to be fine. Just as long as you don't ruin it by over thinking..."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to someone else. A\N : slightly longer chapter. Don't like? Don't read.**

* * *

I woke up with a massive headache. My eyes were sore, the light coming from the window was hurting them. I had cried myself to sleep yet again. Nightmares of James. James kicking my gut, blood spilling, James laughing, stomping on my legs. Always the same dream... it wasn't a dream at all, just my brain remembering... always remembering.

I sat up in bed. Charlie had kept all our bedrooms intact after each of us had left. The walls were still covered in my childish artwork and photographs of days long gone: pictures of my brothers and I, summer vacations long gone, pictures of mom and us, when she was alive. Life seemed less complicated then. Before each of us went separate ways.

I went into my small bathroom to wash up and change. Mom had chosen this room for me, when we first moved in. It used to be the master bedroom, but she had convinced dad to give it to me. It was the only room with a private bathroom. Later, I think it hurt her to discover I wasn't one of those girlie girls that spend hours in front of the mirror applying make up and trying out outfits. She never said anything, but I could sense the disappointment when I started junior high.

It had snowed overnight and when I came down for breakfast Emmett was shoveling the driveway. Dad sat in his couch, reading the local newspaper. He hummed along as he turned the pages.

"You're in a good mood." I was happy to see he had slept off his somber self.

"Your brother is going out to choose a tree." Charlie smiled. "We haven't had a real tree in here since forever."

"That's great!" I was glad at least dad was determined to enjoy this last christmas... I heard a car pull up. As I looked out the window, my heart stopped for a second. Edward Cullen was parking a silver Volvo on our street. My brother hurried inside.

"I told her not to do this!" Emmett cursed. He looked at me nervously as if he was expecting something from me. He looked helpless. I knew he wanted to get on Rose's good side but at the same time he wanted o protect his little sister. I just shook my head and smiled at him.

"It's fine, Em." I looked around for something to do and then decided to just sit by dad. Dad held my hand tight. I hadn't told him about Edward and now I wished I had. Emmett flung the door open. Rosalie's smile widened at seeing him. Behind her Edward's frown deepened. He was still glorious, handsome. He was wearing torn jeans and a gray coat. His auburn hair always at impossible angles, and he hadn't shaved for a few days. He looked quite the star and I immediately realised this look had been carefully concocted by his sister. Behind him a tall beautiful woman smiled brightly. I had seen her around the hospital with other patients. She was a volunteer. Now I realised she had the same strong jaw, the same green eyes, long blonde hair like her daughter. This was Esme Cullen.

"Emmett, aren't you going to let our guests in?!" Dad snapped. My brother stepped back. Rosalie immediately crossed the room to hug dad.

"Chief Swan, always a pleasure to see you." Then she sat beside me. "May I introduce my brother, Edward." Dad grunted, he knew who Edward Cullen was, probably from James's jealous bouts. "And my mother..."

"Esme!" he smiled at her. "I didn't know you were Rosalie's mom... I mean..." Esme smiled at him. We were all silent for a minute and I forced myself to look at where Edward was standing, practically murdering Emmett with his green eyes. Rosalie frowned.

"Edward, this is Emmett." Rose announced as my brother offered his handshake. Edward just stared and then some recognition flared in his eyes and his expression softened.

"Wait? did you say Emmett?" Edward began shaking Emmett's hand vigorously. "You're Emmett?" my brother nodded. "Bella's brother? You're Bella's brother!" Edward looked... relieved?

"And your sister's boyfriend!" Emmett finally said. I looked at Rose and she was brimming with happiness. Her eyes twinkled. As did her mother's and... Charlie's? Emmett frowned at Edward and squared his shoulders, a move he always used whenever he didn't like someone. I stood up immediately and placed myself between Edward and him.

"Bells!" my brother hissed.

"Nice to see you again, Ed... Mr. Cullen." I didn't smile. "Emmett was just about to go get our tree... " I pushed Emmett out the door. He knew better than to fight me.

"I'll go with him." Edward offered, startling everyone, Emmett included. "Besides, if you're my sister's boyfriend, I'm quite sure we need to talk." He scowled.

"Now boys, you two behave. I still have some pull in the police station." Charlie joked.

"Bella, we brought lunch, Rosalie will get it from the car." Esme smiled kindly at me but then focused all her attention on Charlie. "I made you my special lasagna, I know how much you enjoy it, Charles."

"You know me too well." Rosalie went outside to get the food from the car.

"I must compliment your daughter, Charles... she cooks fabulously, Edward couldn't stop eating those marvelous cupcakes." I blushed as she looked at me. Esme was so nice I was begining to wonder if Edward was really her son. How could someone so polite have a son that was so selfish and self absorbed. I shook my head to clear away the image of Edward talking on national tv.

"I'm gona go start getting things ready for lunch." I escaped to my tiny kitchen. Rosalie came back with the lasagna.

"You mad?"

"Why should I be mad, Rose?" my tone was more sarcastic than I had intended.

"You're mad!" she accused. I sighed.

"I'm not mad at you, just your damned good intentions!" I smiled at her as I finished chopping the vegetables for the salad. "It's fine! I'm going to be fine... and... we need to celebrate, sister-in-law." she relaxed and smiled at me. "Now please set the table as I heat up your mom's special lasagna."

When the guys came back, the table was set, the food was ready, Esme had opened a bottle of wine she had brought, Edward helped Emmett carry dad's chair to the kitchen table. They were talking like long lost friends, so I guessed they'd bonded over their tree lunch, Esme dedicated her attention to Dad, Rosalie and Emmett seemed off on a world of their own, and I was alone, silent, sitting across the man who had broken me for other men, who stared at me with green burning eyes. I couldn't even eat. Nevermind, I was never hungry anymore. As I set my cutlery down on my plate, Edward's face contorted into another frown.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he whispered.

I shook my head.

"You need to eat!" a little louder. That caught the attention of everyone at the table.

"Bella, honey, don't you like my lasagna?" Esme seemed on the verge of tears. Emo much?

"It's lovely... I'm just not hungry." My father gave me a murderous look, so I picked up my fork and stuffed my mouth. Everyone relaxed and began talking again. Edward smirked, pleased with himself.

After lunch, Emmett and Edward carried Dad back to the living room. Esme and Rosalie helped me with the dishes.

"Please don't be mad!" Rosalie whispered when we were alone in the kitchen. I just snorted. "Come on, Bella! I know you still..."

"Please, Rosalie... just, please don't say anything!" I begged her.

"You ready?" Emmett came in looking flustered. I was about to answer him when I noticed Rosalie nodding her head.

"I thought you said you could take me to Port Angeles?" I asked. I still had last minute shopping to do.

"I... I..." my brother couldn't even look at me. "I promised Rosie, I'd take her to the movies." He looked guilty. Had they planned this? "Besides, Edward can take you, I already asked." Edward moved into my line of sight from behind Emmett. He was smiling.

"What about the tree? Aren't we decorating?" I was angry now.

"Later. Esme and dad are going to watch a movie on Netflix, he already invited everyone for dinner, so we can all decorate the tree..." I was getting angrier by the minute and Emmett knew it.

"Dinner?"

"Esme's cooking." Emmett looked between me, Rose and Edward and then just shook his head. "I am taking my girlfriend on a date! You two," he pointed at Edward and me. "Either work it out or, by god, I'll lock you up in the attic." Edward's smile widened. I just shrugged, grabbed my purse and coat and followed Rose and Emmett out the back door. Uncoordinated girls and snow don't mix, I knew. I'd known that for years. My feet didn't work and I slipped on an icy patch by the steps. I braced myself for the inevitable fall. Just as I did, I felt Edward's hands at my waist, holding me up, against his hard, muscled body. I felt the surge of electrical energy flow into me. It was like I could finally breathe and my heart beat at last. He released me just as soon as my feet were planted on the ground.

"You should be more careful, Bella." He whispered. Then he just grabbed my hand in his and walked me to the passenger side of his car. I wanted to pull away but his grip was firm. "Don't be silly, Bella." he scoffed and pushed me against the car, pressing himself on my body. "I told you to come back to me... but you just left." He accused, whispering in my ear. He was angry, but his hard body pressed against me only made my insides burn for him.

"Ed... Mr. Cullen, please..." He squeezed my hand in his, too hard, he was hurting me, I pulled my hand but his grip only tightened.

"I said my name is Edward. Say it!" he hissed. I was scared. Would he hurt me? "Say it!" he ordered.

"Edward, please. You're hurting me!" my voice quivered as the tears welled up in my eyes. He cupped my face with his hands, caressed my cheek and rubbed his nose against mine.

"I don't want to hurt you... but I always end up doing it." Then he stepped back, opened the passenger door and ordered, "Get in the car, it's fucking freezing out here!"

Was it? My insides were burning, I was stretched thin.

Edward Cullen drove like a maniac. It was one thing to speed along a dry road on a bike, but another one completely, in a car, on a windy, curvy, wet patch of excuse for road. He was completely focused on the road and on driving, and I didn't want to say anything to upset him so I just clutched my seat and the door handle. He chuckled... and slowed down once Forks was behind us. Then, he reached for my hand, kissed my fingertips and held it on his leg, while he drove with his left hand. I could never relax around reckless drivers and I was still hurt, so I asked him my question.

"So... how's Jane?" he immediately released me, placed both hands on the steering wheels, sighed and shook his head... but I got no answer. If it had been possible, my heart would have broken some more. We ignored each other for the rest of the drive.

When he parked the car, I could feel his anger roll off him in waves. But he said nothing. He helped me with the shopping cart, hefted the heavy items and was on his best behaviour until we got to the check-out. Then he just gave the girl his card to pay for everything and he grunted at me when I tried to tell her to give it back so I could pay. She waited for me to tell her what to do and he got even more impatient.

"Are you going to use my card, or should I ask to see your manager?" He snapped.

"Edward!" I placed my hand on his shoulder and he relaxed immediately.

The drive back home was more relaxed. He didn't speed. He didn't try to hold my hand, he didn't frown. The stereo played some soft music from his ipod. I felt my body begin to relax. I almost closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry about what I said... on that show. It wasn't true. It was all an act. I know I hurt you and that's why you ran away... but you should have talked to me. It's not true that I... still love Anne, it was not true that I miss Anne..." His voice was soft but emotional. My eyes fluttered open and I stared at him. We were parked in my drive way. Had I fallen asleep? Maybe he hadn't said anything. Had I dreamt it? I looked at him confused. He smiled tenderly. "I know I hurt you, maybe you feel like you can't trust me. I just want you to know that you're the one I miss."

"We've just met... I'm just a groupie you saved on a train." I threw his own words back at him. He was hurt, but he still smiled, reached out to caress my cheek again. His hand was soft and warm.

"I said that only to keep you all to myself, I didn't want to share you with the rest of the world... I'm sorry." He sighed and turned away. "I don't know what else to do, except ask for your forgiveness."

"I can't trust you. I can't trust that this isn't all an act, that you'll be polite and nice while we're here, away from the world and all the cameras... and once you go back... I don't like him."

"Him?" he asked in disbelief.

"The person you become when you are in LA, with Jake and all the paparazzi."

" I don't have to stand for this, I'm a rock star and I'll do whatever I want!" He yelled at me.

"Not, if you want me." I yelled back. He relaxed again, hung his head in defeat and nodded.

"You deserve better." He whispered but I said nothing. He was hurt. I didn't want him to hurt, but so was I. I looked at his tattooed hand, that name irritated me to no end. Sure, he'd loved this woman, that by his sister's accounts had been a gold digger, why hadn't he covered up those tattoos? Why did he have an eternal reminder of her? He caught me looking at his hand. He reached out and pulled me up to sit in his lap.

"I don't miss Anne." He whispered into my ear. "I miss you." so soft I almost didn't catch it. I felt my body react to his closeness, underneath me his body reacted to mine. He caressed my chin with the back of his hand. I pulled his hand away from my face and pointed at his knuckles.

"Get rid of it. I hate it." My voice was low.

"I will." another whisper, his lips softly grazing my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine and into my womb.


End file.
